I still exist!
That one-track mind shit ended me.
I've every intention of writing for the none of you who read this jibberjabber of my 7-week-long [mis]adventure working as a conductor on the railroad, but for now I'll be brief.... I washed out.
So, unconcerned with the fact that it's 2am on Friday morning, here I sit at 2am on Friday morning trying to make a decision as to what in the heck comes next in this screwball life I'm leading. I'm open to suggestions. And if your plan for my future involves a fudge shop in Idaho, a giraffe, a troupe of burlesque dancers and a can of halved pears in heavy syrup, it'll never work. Trust me. There's a reason I have to drive around Nebraska on my way to Colorado. Sorry.
Well I made it through week #1. Didn't know that casual friday existed, so everyone, literally, EVERYONE was in jeans, but me! Trying to learn a lot of finance and actually apply it has been difficult. I feel like as soon as I start to feel comfortable with a topic, something comes along to knock me down a few pegs.
I feel like I just started college again and have no clue waht to do about anything! I know it will pass, but I want to do well and this is just frustrating me immensely!
This is a weird business, railroading. I'm only two weeks a conductor and the job is already all-consuming. It's a job that- at least for now, while I'm learning it- requires 100% attentiveness.... where rail cars are, which ones are moving, what direction they're moving in, how far they're going, how far they need to go, how to get them there, where the locomotives moving the cars are, how fast they're going, how fast they should go, and so on. It isn't as if your mind has a hell of a lot of time to wander. Moving trains also requires fairly long workdays, 10-14 hours seem to be the norm.
That constant attention to what is happening all around me for such a long time every day makes it so hard to snap out of it after tying up (that's basically punching out). All I think about is trains. All I have to talk about is trains. And also, being out of town during all of this, knowing no one to talk to but train people most likely doesn't help, either.
I still enjoy this job very much, but I'm going to need to find some not-very-time-consuming, portable and non-railroad outlets to get into if I'm going to survive. I know myself pretty well and this one-track mind shit will end me.
I HAVE A JOB!
I START MONDAY!
HOW FREAKING AWESOME!
Pattern: Monkey by Cookie A. from Knitty, winter 2006.
Yarn: Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock Multi in Happy Valley Colourway
Started: 2/25/08
Finished: WIP
Modifications: none
Needles: Addi Lace Turbos US1 32"
